Posted in Dissonance, Writing Process

Stumbling at the finish line

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Right now, writing this novel feels like being in the lead of a marathon and being moments from the finish.  Then suddenly I trip over my own two feet and fall to the pavement.

I wonder if the story lives up to the hype of the first few chapters.  Then I have these gaping plot holes that I have to fix.  I know what I want it to be, but putting that vague thought into pages of monologue and dialogue is not an easy task, even with the outline there as a guide.  Yeah I know what I want the feel and motive of the scene to be, but what are the characters saying, thinking or doing.  It gets so overwhelming.

I have also been wondering if my goal of having Dissonance ready to publish by December is an obtainable goal.  I am over the halfway point, but with the minimal amount of time I can dedicate to writing lately, I’m not sure.  I am not going to let it be an excuse and I’m going to continue to attempt to dedicate at least one day a week for writing on Dissonance until this draft is completed.  Perhaps, I am putting too much pressure on myself and worrying over nothing.

This month has been horrible for writing.  We started the month out with three back to back trips for family obligations.  I have been putting a substantial amount of time into assessing and attempting to obtain my life wants and goals outside of writing.   We have also been getting prepared mentally and financially for my husband return to school in the fall.

And to add to the stress, last weekend we thought we were going to have a Oct 2010 -  Feb 2011 014free weekend before the next few are spoken for again, but life had other plans.  I got home from work Friday night and our eldest ferret’s health was failing.  By Saturday afternoon, we had to make the most difficult decision in our lives.  Ultimately, we ended up at the veterinarian’s office.  We know the decision we made was the best; her quality of life was not acceptable, but it doesn’t make it any easier and I miss seeing that little fuzzy face that had been a part of our lives for the last 8 years.

To fight the gloominess of the weekend, Monday I decided I would try to restart my creativity by attempting to write.  Even before the weekend, I had been struggling with writing.  I decided to write the last chapter in hopes of reigniting the fire.  At first, it was slow going, but by the end of the night I hammered out a rough 2,300 words and the ending chapter is completed.

Sometimes getting from point A to point B is so difficult, but I’ll leave that to another post (hopefully later this week).

I apologize if this post is a bit rambling, but I hope you can give me a little time to get my head back in this writing game.

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Author:

I am a writer currently working on her first series featuring Malcolm Stone. I also dabble in photography cooking and enjoying life. Synopsis of Dissonance (Book I in the series): Malcolm is youngest son of Preston Stone, the largest liquor importer on the east coast since the prohibition. His family’s affluence has afforded him the opportunity to follow his passion of being a pianist. He married a successful local artist Anabelle Connolly. They appeared to have the perfect life, but it had turned sour. After Anabelle’s death, the truth of their marriage can no longer be hidden. Years of Malcolm’s carefully constructed lies start unraveling at his feet. Will he be able to pick up the pieces of his shattered life? Dissonance explores and exposes a violent relationship, infidelity, substance abuse, depression, and lies.

8 thoughts on “Stumbling at the finish line

  1. Be kind to yourself. You are still moving forward, even at a slow pace, and that’s an important thing to realise. Stumbling at the finish line might mean you don’t win immediately, but it doesn’t negate all those miles you’ve run, nor does it mean you won’t get back up and finish.
    Keep going.
    Cat x

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Cat, you are so sweet!

    Lucky for us that writing isn’t really a race. Thanks for your encouraging words, I plan to keep piecing this story together and who knows maybe I will get it finished and polished by the end of the year. I’m not counting anything out just yet. We are only at the halfway mark of the year.

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  3. I tend to stumble at the finish line because, when A is finished, I must take the next step, and B is even bigger and better (and scarier) than A. It’s also taken so much energy and time and sheer determination that it’s become a part of your life.

    And hey, what’s the worst that could happen? You won’t meet your December deadline, but… you’ll still publish. That’s not half bad for a worst case scenario. Keep chugging along, reflecting, and living life xx

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    1. Zee, I love you! You are so sweet and supportive. I always tend to have so much problem with the squishy middle section, but then I skip it and work on the end and by the time I get ready to go back to write that middle part it just doesn’t seem as difficult.

      The next day, I felt so much better getting my worries off my chest. I am ready to jump back into working on Dissonance. Now just finding time to squeeze it into my schedule. 🙂

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  4. We all go through this Amanda, I’ve been there several times. It’s all part of the “fun” 🙂 I agree with Cat – the very fact that you’ve blogged about it and you want to take action means that you’re still moving forward. Don’t put undue pressure on yourself, let life be what it needs to be for a while, then it’ll all come back round to where it should be. It’s a bit like being single – when you’re desperately searching for a partner you can’t find one, but as soon as you ease the pressure off and stop, one tends to pop up out of nowhere.

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement Jon! It’s funny, after I blogged about it, the very next day I felt much better about my writing an could tell I was managing to blow everything out of proportion.

      Also, I loved your analogy!

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  5. Dear Amanda, I’m so sorry I put your post aside for a couple of days. It sad that your oldest “baby” is gone. I know I’ll be facing the same sometime soon with my oldest cat.

    To be so close to the end of your book is fabulous. I can’t seem to get past the one third mark with my project. I would guess the December is still possible, especially with you being so determined.

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