Right now, writing this novel feels like being in the lead of a marathon and being moments from the finish. Then suddenly I trip over my own two feet and fall to the pavement.
I wonder if the story lives up to the hype of the first few chapters. Then I have these gaping plot holes that I have to fix. I know what I want it to be, but putting that vague thought into pages of monologue and dialogue is not an easy task, even with the outline there as a guide. Yeah I know what I want the feel and motive of the scene to be, but what are the characters saying, thinking or doing. It gets so overwhelming.
I have also been wondering if my goal of having Dissonance ready to publish by December is an obtainable goal. I am over the halfway point, but with the minimal amount of time I can dedicate to writing lately, I’m not sure. I am not going to let it be an excuse and I’m going to continue to attempt to dedicate at least one day a week for writing on Dissonance until this draft is completed. Perhaps, I am putting too much pressure on myself and worrying over nothing.
This month has been horrible for writing. We started the month out with three back to back trips for family obligations. I have been putting a substantial amount of time into assessing and attempting to obtain my life wants and goals outside of writing. We have also been getting prepared mentally and financially for my husband return to school in the fall.
And to add to the stress, last weekend we thought we were going to have a free weekend before the next few are spoken for again, but life had other plans. I got home from work Friday night and our eldest ferret’s health was failing. By Saturday afternoon, we had to make the most difficult decision in our lives. Ultimately, we ended up at the veterinarian’s office. We know the decision we made was the best; her quality of life was not acceptable, but it doesn’t make it any easier and I miss seeing that little fuzzy face that had been a part of our lives for the last 8 years.
To fight the gloominess of the weekend, Monday I decided I would try to restart my creativity by attempting to write. Even before the weekend, I had been struggling with writing. I decided to write the last chapter in hopes of reigniting the fire. At first, it was slow going, but by the end of the night I hammered out a rough 2,300 words and the ending chapter is completed.
Sometimes getting from point A to point B is so difficult, but I’ll leave that to another post (hopefully later this week).
I apologize if this post is a bit rambling, but I hope you can give me a little time to get my head back in this writing game.