The Writer

Accepting the role

This post is probably closely related to my It’s a Confidence Game, being able to tell someone you are a writer takes a lot of confidence.


Accepting a new role into our already hectic life is challenging. At first calling myself a writer was like getting those stretch blue jeans out of the dryer and putting them on. They are a little snug at first and you start to wonder if those three extra pounds you put on has pushed you into the next size, and you need to buy new pants, but you realize the longer you have them on the better they fit.  Calling myself a writer, followed the same sort of pattern. At first it didn’t seem right and I felt awkward about telling people. I mean what if my work was crap? I didn’t want anyone to know. Now, I smile looking back on those memories.

I no longer feel awkward when someone at work asked me what I did over the weekend. I don’t come up with that standardized answer of “oh, not much we sort of just relaxed.” Now I proudly respond “I wrote on my book” and blah, blah whatever else we did.  It’s amazing how many people will actually ask what my book is about.  That was another reason, I was afraid to call myself a writer, I didn’t know what to say when someone asked me what my book was about. I would timidly respond, “well, I don’t know. It’s about a guy whose wife dies and how he rebuilds his life.” Anyone who knows me realizes the words Amanda Staley and timid do not go well together. I still don’t have the perfect answer for that question (obviously I need to come up with a tagline and elevator pitch), but now I proudly give them a brief synopsis of my book.

I am a writer, it’s part of me.  When I started using the writer label, I called myself an aspiring writer.  It didn’t take long before I shed that title.  I realized saying aspiring in front of writer, just didn’t feel right.  I wasn’t aspiring to write, I was writing.  I noticed I was using aspiring much in the same way I use “need to”.  When ever I tend to use the “need to” phrase, it something that has to get done, but I have no intention of getting to it anytime soon.  I didn’t want that to the case with my writing.  So I just started calling myself a writer.  Now I’m getting to the point in my writing career where I use the labels writer and author interchangeably.  I have written a book, but I just haven’t published it.  I am proud of what I do and I want people to realize I’m not ashamed to of my choices to be a writer and author.  I love my characters and plot and I want to share them with everyone.

Have you accepted the role of being a writer? Or are you still struggling with the label?




11 thoughts on “Accepting the role”

  1. Accepting the role as a writer was hard – until someone stated something like this:
    You write – you are a writer!
    As soon as you are published – you are also an author!
    This helped.
    And you certainly deserve calling yourself a writer, Amanda! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m struggling, Amanda, mostly because the last time I had something published except for on my own blog was 18 years ago. I think once I have something published again, it’ll be a little easier to say such a thing about myself.


  3. Hmmm… I’ve used the title of ‘writer’ for a while, but still struggling with it a little. There are people I’ll talk to about it, but I choose carefully (or, at least, I try to lol).

    The little snippet from Family Guy where Stewie asks Brian about that novel he’s working on tends to pop into my mind more often than it should…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I loathe that little snippet. It was actually that very scene that kept me from sharing my writing for years. When I was writing this post, I felt like a hypocrite saying to be proud of your writing, but yet I hadn’t connected my Facebook to my blog, because I didn’t want to hear those same lines from my friends again. I used to talk about writing on Facebook, but quit after friends kept quoting Family Guy.

      So at lunch Friday, I decided worse case scenario I would unfriend some people (that probably don’t really matter anyway) and I shared my first two chapters from Dissonance. I was shocked. No references to the family guy snippet were made, my blog had record hits and I got a lot of great comments on how liked the passages were. Here I was hiding away part of me for no reason. I feel for the very first time I am truly accepting the role of a writer.

      Just stick with it and it will feel natural eventually 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. As I was reading your post I was picturing my wife, she is struggling a lot in with the idea of being a writer. I’m trying to get more familiarized with the writers world to help advice her goal of publishing her first novel. Is good to know that this is part of the process. I look forward to read more of your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Amanda. I had a similar experience to Karen. I’ve always loved to write and I’ve written short stories since high school, but I never called myself a writer until one day someone told me that I was one. Ha,ha! Then I wrote and published a novel, and now I’m getting used to calling myself a published author. What is it with us writers?

    Liked by 1 person

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