I am working against the clock, I had originally wanted to finish my first draft of Dissonance by the end of February 2014. In December when I made the goal, I thought it was going to be a push to finish at the appointed date, but a completely obtainable goal. That was before the seasonal depression hit and this year it hit hard. I have always noticed a slump in my activity level during the winter, but since moving back from Florida, it seems to get worse each year. I had a hard time keeping up with my blog, let alone writing on Dissonance. I wrote some, but not near the amount that I was hoping. So after February came and went, I reassessed my writing pace and thought the end of May. “If I keep this slow snail pace I’m working at right now, it should be no problem to finish Dissonance by the end of May.” Well here we are a little over half way through May and I just crossed the 50,000 word mark. I am aiming for about 75,000 to 80,000. Not sure I’m going to make that goal either.
I realize 25,000 to 30,000 words is not that much, but I’m not sure I’ll get it done. I’m going to try like hell, but I’m not going to guarantee that I will cross that finish line on May 31st. As many of you know, I am going through a lot of life changes right now. Autumn is going hold a lot of changes for the two of us and in three short years a lot of different opportunities will be opened for us. One day I might even be able to have a full-time writing career, but I try not to get too far ahead of myself. Right now it’s best to think about the here and now. With all the changes happening, I realize I really need to get this draft done before August. Once he starts school, I’m not sure how much “free” time I will have.
To add to the pressures of my own deadlines, the depression that I had thought ran off with the return of sunlight and warmer weather is still here, strong as ever. I have tried meditation and yoga attempting to have a more active lifestyle. Some days it works and others, well not so much. I think it is time to shed this label of seasonal depression and call it was it is. It’s really no surprise to me that I am having a little difficulty transitioning into this new life, if I look back over the past year. A lot has happened! I was already on the cusp of my maximum anxiety load and this, though very temporary, has put me over the edge. At least I realize that in a few short months, I am going to look back in this and laugh about how I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. In the meantime I’m going to keep my head up, attempt to smile and work through this.
I have a lot of writing related plans for the next six months, but first and foremost I have to get back in the groove of writing. The past two weeks have been the worst, I have barely gotten 2,000 words written. Partially because some of my remaining scenes my character is in a severe depression, and though at most I have a very mild case of depression, the idea of dwelling in the darkest recesses of my mind does not sound overly appealing. The other part is I have non-writing obligations that demand my attention especially if we are going to make it through this doctoral program in one piece.
I guess the moral of this story is despite my brain’s current malfunction and my other obligations, I am going to continue writing on Dissonance and attempt to finish the first full draft as close to my deadline of the end of the month as possible.
💕 As a side note, thank you all for your continued interest in my writing and my brief character description I posted Sunday, you keep me pushing forward with my writing even when I think I should set it aside and concentrate on other obligations! 💕