Dissonance, The Writer

Working Against the Clock

Tick….Tock….Tick….Tock

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I am working against the clock, I had originally wanted to finish my first draft of Dissonance by the end of February 2014.  In December when I made the goal, I thought it was going to be a push to finish at the appointed date, but a completely obtainable goal.  That was before the seasonal depression hit and this year it hit hard.  I have always noticed a slump in my activity level during the winter, but since moving back from Florida, it seems to get worse each year. I had a hard time keeping up with my blog, let alone writing on Dissonance.  I wrote some, but not near the amount that I was hoping.  So after February came and went, I reassessed my writing pace and thought the end of May.  “If I keep this slow snail pace I’m working at right now, it should be no problem to finish Dissonance by the end of May.”  Well here we are a little over half way through May and I just crossed the 50,000 word mark.  I am aiming for about 75,000 to 80,000.  Not sure I’m going to make that goal either.

I realize 25,000 to 30,000 words is not that much, but I’m not sure I’ll get it done.  I’m going to try like hell, but I’m not going to guarantee that I will cross that finish line on May 31st.  As many of you know, I am going through a lot of life changes right now.  Autumn is going hold a lot of changes for the two of us and in three short years a lot of different opportunities will be opened for us.  One day I might even be able to have a full-time writing career, but I try not to get too far ahead of myself.  Right now it’s best to think about the here and now.  With all the changes happening, I realize I really need to get this draft done before August.  Once he starts school, I’m not sure how much “free” time I will have.

To add to the pressures of my own deadlines, the depression that I had thought ran off with the return of sunlight and warmer weather is still here, strong as ever.  I have tried meditation and yoga attempting to have a more active lifestyle.  Some days it works and others, well not so much. I think it is time to shed this label of seasonal depression and call it was it is. It’s really no surprise to me that I am having a little difficulty transitioning into this new life, if I look back over the past year. A lot has happened!  I was already on the cusp of my maximum anxiety load and this, though very temporary, has put me over the edge.  At least I realize that in a few short months, I am going to look back in this and laugh about how I was making a mountain out of a mole hill.  In the meantime I’m going to keep my head up, attempt to smile and work through this.

I have a lot of writing related plans for the next six months, but first and foremost I have to get back in the groove of writing. The past two weeks have been the worst, I have barely gotten 2,000 words written. Partially because some of my remaining scenes my character is in a severe depression, and though at most I have a very mild case of depression, the idea of dwelling in the darkest recesses of my mind does not sound overly appealing. The other part is I have non-writing obligations that demand my attention especially if we are going to make it through this doctoral program in one piece.

I guess the moral of this story is despite my brain’s current malfunction and my other obligations, I am going to continue writing on Dissonance and attempt to finish the first full draft as close to my deadline of the end of the month as possible.

💕 As a side note, thank you all for your continued interest in my writing and my brief character description I posted Sunday, you keep me pushing forward with my writing even when I think I should set it aside and concentrate on other obligations! 💕

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6 thoughts on “Working Against the Clock”

    1. The funny thing is nearly everything, with exception of the writing, is going according to plan. Everything is moving along at a crazy fast speed… year of the horse, I guess 🙂

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  1. Year year of the horse is right. This year is just speeding by, no wonder we have a hard time keeping up. This was a beautiful post by the way. Keep going at a speed that works, one day at a time.

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    1. Thanks Inger! I have to really focus on one day right now.. when I start looking too far forward it’s just very overwhelming. Too many unstable forces are hanging in the balance 🙂 But it’s turning out to be a beautiful year, despite how I’m feeling right now

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  2. I get seasonal depression. Physical exercise helps me but it’s nothing like yoga. I ride a stationary bike 5 to 6 days per week. Yes, it sounds like your depression is a little more serious. Talk to your doctor. Even the GP can help with this.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words Glynis 🙂 I am getting ready to go on a mini vacation this week and we will see if a break from it all helps. I’m hoping a little real relaxation does the trick or at least helps.

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